How would you have handled it? I love to grow...please and thank you!?

sorry to say but it sounds like you have a lot of issues and you will not be able to have a normal/natural relationship. Till you are free of your burdens. You have to enter a relationship with a free and open mind. Ready and willing to trust, share your feelings with out regret. Work on you before you decide to be with someone else. Misery loves company. To put it blunt you are Misery. Get joy in your life that will attract any boy/man when you have grown your self. good luck